Childfree

We've been married for more than five years now - childfree. Of course there's extreme pressure from family and friends.

Sa side ko, everytime i called my mama never na mawawala sa topic yang paghingi nya ng apo sa akin kasi among her siblings and friends sya na lang "daw" ang walang apo. Lagi pa ako nire-remind na last time sya nanganak e 28 years old sya, nalampasan ko na daw ang age nya pero hanggang ngayon wala pa akong baby, kesyo nasa lahi namin ang magkasakit auntie ko isa, namatay sa cancer sa ovary, auntie ko na isa pa at mama ko operada wala na din ovary, pinsan ko kaka-opera din inalisan ng ovary. Patingin na daw kami sa doctor baka daw merong may diperensya sa amin. Yung mga classmate ko daw ng highschool padamihan na ng anak.
Everytime na ganyan na ang usapan namin ni mama ko at friends ko, tinatapos ko na ang usapan. Ewan ko... mahirap ba intindihin ang decision namin not to have a child yet. Its our personal decision, our personal choice.
Kanya kanyang point of view and respect lang sana. E sa walang mahilig sa amin sa bata parang Singaporean na din ang mentality namin, pakiramdam ko e burden lang ang anak. Hirap magbuntis, maglilihi pa, di ka makakain ng gusto mo, kelangan pa frequent check up, vitamins, not to sleep late, di makakalakwatsa, daming bawal! Bago at paglabas ng bata, mamimili ng gamit na napakabilis pagliitan at madaling pag iwanan, ang mahal ng gatas pati diaper sana pa di sakitin kung hindi mas lalong yari.
Pag dito sa Singapore palalakihin ang bata, kelangan kumuha ng mag aalaga o pwede din naman ang magulang yun nga lang kelangan mag rent pa ng additional room para syempre may privacy naman kaming mag asawa. Kung sa Pinas naman palalakihin ang bata, sabi nga ng officemate ko "what is the meaning of life?" Kung ako naman ang titigil sa work para mag alaga sa bata, di naman practical din na nandito sa Singapore na 3 kaming kakain tapos isa lang nagtatrabaho.
Yung incentive dito just to encourage the parents to have more babies, its a good move for the government indeed. Pero di sya encouragement sa akin, kumbaga pag nagka baby ako ok bonus sya pero di ako magba baby para ma avail lang ang mga benefits na yan. In the long run, sino ba ang kelangan magkanda kuba sa pagtatrabaho para mapalaki ang bata kundi kami din naman mag asawa.
Of course, di ako nagsasalita ng tapos who knows next month lang e mabuntis ako I'm not getting any younger na din, bahala na sana ma-overcome ko ang mga worries ko na yan. Wala naman pressure sa amin mag-asawa, kung ibigay sa amin... of course aalagaan at palalakihin. Kung hindi naman, we're open to adoption or no child at all na nga lang.
Eto ang baby namin, si JJ









Choosing to be Childfreehttp://www.happilychildfree.com/

Childfreedom is choosing not to create or raise any children.  It's about wanting to devote our lives to other objectives.  For some that is their careers, for others their hobbies.  Most childfree people recognize that parenting is a stressful, time-consuming and often thankless job, and we'd rather do something else with our lives.

Making the choice to be childfree is not something that is chosen lightly. In many cases childfree people have thought longer and harder about why NOT to have kids than their counterparts have thought about why TO have kids.

To anyone considering the childfree life: don't have children if you don't want them. I don't care if everyone you know tells you that you'll grow up and change your mind, that everyone wants kids, that all women have a maternal instinct, or that you'll never get a husband or wife if you don't want kids.  Don't fall for that!  Trust your own instinct and be true to yourself.  If you don't want those kids, it's better to not have them.

Making this choice is not an easy road to travel.  It means having the courage to be different from most everyone else you know.  You'll have to write your own life script, since the traditional one doesn't apply to you. You have to be strong, as you may face a lot of social stigma.  Your family and friends might try to convince you  to have kids -- and if that doesn't work, they might try to belittle you into it.   You may have a hard time making new friends because most everyone else is having kids and that's all they talk about anymore.  You might also have a hard time finding a spouse (if you even want one) because every year the dating pool will shrink as more people in your age group will have kids.

But it's certainly not all bad.  You'll have a lot more time to spend with your friends and loved ones.  You will be able to nurture your romantic relationships more as well.  You'll have more time for your education and career.  You'll also have more time for hobbies, travel and learning.  Trust me, it's going to be a lot of fun!

Most importantly, you'll have more time to spend on yourself, and finding out who you really are and what you really want out of life; what you believe in and what you don't.  When people ask you who you are and what you do, you will have to come up with a better answer than the old standby of, "Well, I'm a mommy."  But that's what makes us more thoughtful and creative.  We've taken the time to find out who we really are, rather than just fall into the stereotypical roles.